14 Apr Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Hello to everyone:
Jeff here and it’s about 8:30pm on Tuesday evening. The funeral and burial has completed, most have gone home, and Jennifer and I continue climb- climb, climb climb…. I have been busy dealing with funeral arrangements, cemetery decisions, and sometimes, in the midst of the chaos, have had some time to feel sadness, loss and talk with Jennifer. When Kari died last week, something told me that her story or legacy (legacy for a 7 months old seems ridiculous, I know) was not over. I remember asking God for direction and asked him to let Kari walk with us in some way through the journey we expected to enjoy. Since that time I have been resisting the urge to write and express the countless number of thoughts and emotions running through my head- most at the speed of light. Despite the velocity with which they occur, I have not been able to out run the urge to share. I guess when I do, I will stop. Perhaps this is the direction I requested; perhaps Kari is pulling me through her death, or perhaps I’m simply insane. Wherever the motivation lives, here I go. Tonight will be short. Jennifer and the kids are doing well- as well as can be expected. Your support is never far away and the comfort of God can always be found. You may ask, “Does this mean he feels better, or good, or what?” Well the answer is that no, I don’t feel better or good. The loss remains- it will never fade away. All of us will miss her, think of her, become tearful for her, and someday however, hug her. I wanted to start tonight by saying how much we have begun to understand Kari’s impact. It is one thing to have people praying for you, it is another to receive email after email explaining how Kari at such a young age, changed people’s lives. So it is with this that I once again offer you all another heartfelt thank you. The prayers you spoke for Kari seem to be falling back to us now. I can tell you that despite this incredible loss, I have not yet become angry or asked why? Do I miss her you ask? Are you kidding, of course I do, every second! Perhaps I have not reached the “anger point” or the “why point” yet- this may still be ahead of me. But for now, it seems like we are held up in some way, some fashion, by someone……… the only strength I have now is God- therefore I conclude it MUST be Him. And for this, we have you all, once again to thank. Since your prayers did not end with Kari’s death, God it seems, has continued to help us. For this, at least for now, I am grateful. I will end tonight by saying this: I thought it unfair and frankly cowardly of me to accept your help with Kari while I spoke of God performing miracles, and stating His mercy when she was alive and, when He took her, abandon and forget all he had done- never again to speak of such a possibility as a miracle. The truth is that even though she is gone, God still, in my mind, performed several miracles- the laundromat is for me, proof positive. In this case, I am trying to walk the walk AFTER talking the talk. I wonder how far I will get, time will tell….. God bless
P.S. sorry I forgot to mention Kari’s first event- didn’t take long did it? We have been asked to participate in “March for Babies” May 9th. I will soon have a link on Kari’s Heart Foundation site and an explanation of how we can get a grant in Kari’s name from the March of Dimes. I will also post it here as well (soon). For now you can go to www.marchforbabies.org/karischoondyke and donate or go tokarisheartfoundation.org and donate. We need to raise $10,000 for the grant to remember Kari- please donate only to the Kari Schoondyke icon- we have to raise the $10,000 from a single person so to speak, to get the grant. I’ll explain more later, you know, the devil is in the details! Last but certainly not least, thank you to EVERYONE who has remembered Kari with a donation to her foundation- we are so appreciative and continue to make a difference in other families lives one day at a time- this too has been made possible by you all. thanks again. Jeff
P.S.S. Okay, I just wrote the part about the march of dimes march for babies and received a donation notification in LESS than 1 minute!!!!! Amazing!!! thank you AMY FRANCIS- we love you.
Jeff and Jen